President to attend East London mass funeral service
Photo of President Cyril Ramaphosa by GCIS

Rock DJ CHRIS PRIOR has penned the following letters to South Africa’s President Cyril Ramaphosa about load-shedding, the sorry state of the police force and SA cities that are featuring on the wrong kind of Top 10 lists. Unsurprisingly, as the power in the country fails along with the people in power (and hashtags like #NationalShutdown trend), the letters have gained traction, resonating with people across the nation who are quite simply g*tvol.

Chris told SAPeople “both (my letters) received a considerable number of shares, so I’m merely voicing what a lot of us are thinking…” Here, with Chris Prior’s permission, are both letters in full:

It started with this letter…

Dear Mr. Ramaphosa,

You’ve made it abundantly clear that the only thing that interests you and that gang of incompetent thugs and sycophants you call your ‘cabinet’ is money – so here’s an offer I know you won’t be able to refuse: delegate one of those useless idiots (your Minister of Police would be a good choice, as it seems that he’s just sitting on his a*se doing absolutely nothing) to comb through social media – and if he can find one, single positive comment or post praising the ANC for the way in which you’re running this country, I’ll give you 20 bucks.


Heck, make it 50 bucks; then, in the unlikely event that you come right, you’ll be able to put a litre of petrol into your limousine.

I realise this is rather paltry sum compared to the millions that you and your pals steal every day…but it’s money, so I’m sure you’ll do your best.

Sincerely,
Chris Prior

Which led to this letter which has gone viral…

Dear Mr. Ramaphosa,

From the lack of response to my previous letter (see above), I can only assume that you (or whichever useless comrade you delegated to do the job) couldn’t find a single post in the entirety of social media that had anything good to say about you, your coterie of pathetically inept Ministers, or the ANC as a whole.

Well, nobody’s surprised at this outcome, least of all yourself, I’m sure. After all, in the nearly 30 years that your party has been running this country into the ground, all you’ve given us is a heap of false promises, outright lies, corruption on a monumental scale, and an infrastructure which, whilst in perfect running order when you took over, now lies in shreds and tatters – utterly shattered by your party’s complete inability to manage, maintain, service or plan for the future.

For instance, Eskom’s disastrous efforts to keep the power on has very little to do with the present incumbent of the hot seat, and everything to do with the string of ANC ‘comrades’ who have previously been offered a free ride at the power utility, where they’ve been allowed to plunder and rob to their heart’s content, whilst not bothering at all to arrange for the necessary maintenance and upkeep which such a utility requires. ‘Wet coal’ indeed: did nobody think to cover it?

Those few governmental departments that still manage to open their doors in the morning are staffed by slovenly, untrained, arrogant, rude, and completely unhelpful staff, whose only interest (something they’ve obviously learned from the example set by your overfed Ministers and their assistants) is their month-end salaries – and they certainly have no intention of doing any work to actually earn those salaries.

As far as the ANC is concerned, the Post Office has nothing to do with actually delivering mail. No, it is simply a repository for items to be picked through and then stolen.

The Police? What a joke. Under your watch, and under the careful supervision of the Minister of Police, no less than three major South African cities have achieved rankings in the Top 10 most dangerous cities in the world.

Hijackings, armed robberies, the brutal murders of ordinary citizens and the very farmers whom you rely upon to feed the fatso’s that inhabit your Cabinet, the burning of businesses, farms and busses, the flagrant disregard of any laws whatsoever by the taxi industry; all of this goes completely unnoticed by the Dishonourable Mr. Cele. South Africa has become a haven for all sorts of criminals; they’re fully aware that the only reason the Police even exist is to sell them guns.

All in all, Mr. Ramaphosa, it looks like the only legacy you, and the Party you lead, will leave behind, is a country in ruins, with every State enterprise shattered, it’s Treasury looted to the last cent, and an unemployed nation living in poverty and starvation.

But wait! I have a solution! Hear me out: why don’t you, and that awful crowd of incompetent, third-rate clerks you call your Cabinet, just pack your bags and go? Leave the country. Take all the millions that you’ve all stolen, which surely must be more than adequate to keep the lot of you in the lap of luxury forever, and go to Switzerland, or the Caribbean, or wherever you like, really, just so long as you get out! Heck, I’ll even throw in the 50 bucks you left on the table when you failed the last test. In fact, now that I come to think of it, if we start a crowd-funding effort that will ensure your departure, I guarantee every single thinking South African will be falling over themselves to contribute whatever they can, even if it’s only a two-rand coin!

One proviso, though. You remember Zuma, the guy who did more to destroy this country than half-a-dozen atom bombs? The one who should be spending the rest of his life in prison for treason, but he came to you and said he had a headache, so you gave him a medical parole? You need to take him with you. And Julius, the rabid, racist millionaire? He also needs to be put in your suitcase. Once he’s gone, that army of misguided troglodytes will go back to the holes from which they crawled – and the country can then start a programme, under intelligent, moral leadership, which can begin to repair the utter carnage that your thoroughly inadequate administration has provided for us.

Please think over this proposal, Mr. Ramaphosa. With your go-ahead, I wouldn’t be surprised if we have you and your bunch of dismal country-wreckers on a plane (obviously not SAA – you broke that a long time ago) out of here by next weekend!

Cheers!
Chris Prior.

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PLEASE NOTE: Opinions expressed in these letters are the personal views of Chris Prior.