HUMOUR: The Boksburg Thesaurus of Computer Terminology

Here’s a great guide to computer lingo in South African terms, from an email doing the rounds…

Search engine...what you do when your bakkie breaks down
Search engine…what you do when your bakkie breaks down
Log On – Make the braai hotter
Log Off – The braai is too hot
Monitor – Keeping an eye on the braai
Download – Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive – Trip back home without any cold beer
Floppy Disc – What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard – Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window – What you shut when it’s cold
Screen – What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte – What mosquitoes do
Bit – What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte – What mosquitoes at the lake do
Chip – A bar snack
Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem – What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix – Old Jan Matrix’s wife
Laptop – Where the cat sleeps
Software – Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware – Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse – What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe – What holds the shed up
Web – What spiders make
Web Site – The shed or under the verandah
Cursor – The old bloke who swears a lot
Search Engine – What you do when the bakkie won’t go
Yahoo – What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade – A steep hill
Server – The person at the pub that brings out the lunch
Mail Server – The bloke at the pub that brings out the lunch
User – The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
Network – When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet – Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape – When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online – When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line – When the pegs don’t hold the washing up.

Source: Unknown