An Ode to F!

While we await the final voting results, and in the light of Julius Malema’s EFF party coming third in the South African Elections after gaining over 6 % of the total votes so far, here’s a poem:

An ode to F! (musings on a possible South African pop opera…)

To the tune of “Yesterday” by the Beatles.

EFF Supporters. Source: effighters.org.za


ENTER PRESIDENT ZUMA (with a contemplative look on his face)

“Yesterday, the EFF seemed so far away
But now I fear they’re here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday!

“Sullenly, this rotund shadow hangs right over me
We’re losing our majority
Our fall came suddenly!

“Why Ju-Ju had to go I don’t know, I couldn’t say
I did nothing wrong, now I long
For yesterday

Julius Malema (aka Juju), EFF. Source: effighters.org.za/
Julius Malema (aka Ju-Ju), EFF. Source: effighters.org.za/

“What to do, do I nationalise like Ju-Ju too?
Give a new BMW
To every guy that comes my way?

“Buy their vote, give a promissory note…
Or that old blank cheque I wrote…
Keep them on side just one more day!”

OBSEQUIOUS ADVISOR rushes to his side
“I think that’s right, we’ll win them all back overnight!
Ju-Ju will soon give up the fight
When he sees how much we pay…”

INTELLIGENT ADVISOR frantically interjects…
“Mr President, if you do that we are hell-bent
We’ll all end up in excrement
When all the moola has been spent

“Your golden geese: we must help them to increase
With all the other sheep we fleece
The flow of funds will never cease…”

PRESIDENT ZUMA
“Silence please! I’ll drive this rabble to their knees
I’ll stamp the whole lot out with ease
Then we can do just as we please

EFF Logo“Ban their name – those clever Nats did much the same!
Let them know I’m not to blame
I didn’t know… does that sound lame?

“EFF must go, there’s 25 letters more you know
If any other party makes a show
Of telling us we should go slow…”

EARLY THE FOLLOWING MORNING, enter a distraught Face Book member
“Yesterday, cussing was such an easy game to play
But now they took the phlipping “EFF” away
Oh I believe in yesterday

“Suddenly, there’s no phun in the “EFF” word for me
I’m not halph the man I used to be
My words don’t phlow so easily

“Why it had to go I don’t know, they wouldn’t say
But they took the “EFF” away
I believe in yesterday…”

Lyrics copyright 2014 © Paul Christie