So how long is 3 minutes? It can either be quick quick or fok long. Well let me tell you…
When you only have 3 minutes to get ready and out the door for an appointment or work, 3 minutes is quick quick; it feels like 20 seconds… BUT, if you are in a water shortage crisis and you are a “water warrior”, and your aim is to save as much water as you possibly can, because you don’t want to run out of water mid-summer… then 3 minutes has a whole new meaning.
Last night I needed to wash my hair, and with washing my hair comes a 3 minute conditioner treatment. Now, since my hair is dry, I need the whole 3 minutes if not more to soak the conditioner in to make it all soft and fluffy.
Problem number 1 with this is that its a fokken crime to stand in the shower with the water running keeping you warm while you wait for your conditioner to “take”, so the water warrior thing to do is to switch the shower off so you don’t waste water.
Problem number 2 is I was standing in the shower soaking wet, shower water tap off, standing in buckets to save the falling scarce water to flush our loo’s with, on my own, watching my watch for 3 minutes to go by. Do you know how LONG 3 minutes is soaking wet looking like a drowned long haired cat still in winter weather in a cold tiled bathroom???? Let me tell you, its LONG… it’s the longest 3 minutes of your life.
Your body starts to change.
You feel like a teenager again as you get all these tiny bumps all over your skin and while you are rubbing your arms to try and keep warm you are wondering if adult acne is a thing.
Your toes look like dried up raisins because they have constantly been in the buckets that have caught the water. Your boobs go from a size C to a size A, removing any childbirth and breastfeeding after-effects. Your nipples go from pancake flatness to assassin killing eye poking steel rods.
You start praying to God to make the time move faster like you did when you were a kid for Christmas to come, and then……
Finally, your 3 minutes are up and you turn around to put the water back on, you trip over the 4 F*cking buckets under your feet landing against the freezing cold shower tiles… but grabbing the hot water tap to stop you from falling but turn it on full blast scolding your freezing cold goose flesh back – and ass – and scream Mother “Trucker” while your toddler, who has now walked in, looks at you wondering if it’s new dance moves you are doing, or if you’re having a seizure in the shower.
Next time I will be going to the hairdresser!
This blog is republished here with Lee-Ann Laufs kind permission. Follow her blog for more posts like this: SimplyHonest.co.za.