20 Reasons You Should Never Visit Johannesburg

1. Some people seem to believe that Johannesburg is a beautiful place.

Johannesburg South Africa
Delta Park via.

2. They make ridiculous claims about it being the largest man-made forest in the world.

Johannesburg South Africa
The Four Seasons via

3. But this makes no sense.

Johannesburg South Africa
Jacarandas via

4. Because in reality the place is a practically a desert.

Johannesburg South Africa
The Vaal River via

5. Nothing exciting ever happens there.

Johannesburg South Africa
Electric Storm via Alexius van der Westhuizen

6. There is literally nowhere to watch sport.

Johannesburg South Africa
The FNB Stadium via

7. And don’t bother trying to find anywhere to play sport.

Johannesburg South Africa
Johannesburg Country Club via

8. You’ll probably starve to death because there’s nowhere nice to eat.

Johannesburg South Africa
Roots at Forum Homini via

9. And the hotels are really run-down.

Johannesburg South Africa
The Saxon via

10. The architecture is totes unoriginal.

Johannesburg South Africa
Mill Junction via

11. I mean…

Johannesburg South Africa
Maropeng via

12. There is absolutely nowhere to shop.

Johannesburg South Africa
Neighbourgoods Market via

13. And the bars are super sh*t.

Johannesburg South Africa
Flame at the Four Seasons via

14. The people of Johannesburg have absolutely no fashion sense.

Johannesburg South Africa
The Boys of I See a Different You via

15. Art and culture? LOL.

Johannesburg South Africa
Street Art via

16. The weekends are soooooooo boring.

Johannesburg South Africa
Hot Air Ballooning via

16. And there is no public transport.

Johannesburg South Africa
Gautrain via

17. Things are so hectic all the time.

Johannesburg South Africa
Emmarentia Dam via

18. You call that sculpture, Johannesburg?

Johannesburg South Africa
Nirox Sculpture Fair via

19. You make my eyes hurt.

Johannesburg South Africa
Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens via

20. Seriously though. Why would anyone want to visit Johannesburg?

Johannesburg South Africa
Johannesburg Skyline via

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This post originally appeared on Brandslut, and is republished here with kind permission of Misha. Thank you!

About Brandslut: “My name is Misha and this is the blog I write; Brandslut. I started it in 2010. I was looking for a place to put my brand/product/consumer thoughts and here we are, four radical years later. Yes, I have a day job, and no, blogging doesn’t really pay. From 8 to 5 I’m a Digital Marketing Manager and manage one of South Africa’s premiere specialist bank brands. I love what I do. And I also love gin and running; preferably not together. I’ve been fortunate to have lived on four continents and now call Johannesburg home. I’m the mother of a Russian Blue cat called Falafels. She’s awesome. Travel is my ultimate indulgence and I aim to do lots more of it – both locally and abroad. You’ll see more travel writing on the blog as I weave the brand stories of places into it.” Visit www.brandslut.co.za
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